Christmas firefighting questions

Let’s deal wit a fact as a mediator, I can not rarely come up with a funny topic, but my topics with a high chance can lead into funny and peaceful moments. My today’s topic is the "Christmas firefighting”.
Statistics on divorce regularly reveal a spike in the number of people separating in the month of January, so we rightly suspected increased tension around Christmas as the last straw.
What can we do to prevent tension and conflicts?
Let’s take the most critical point!
The difference with Christmas compared to the rest of the year is that there is an intense period of approximately two to three weeks which tests any kind of relationships.

The present

You received a present what makes you understand that they even don’t know who you are?  You should ask yourself the following Christmas firefighting questions:
Did I give chance for this people to understand what I am wishing for? If the answer yes: you can still try to have more direct discussion next year. If it won’t work just accept it that this is somehow their limitation and you need to find the best way to offer this gift for someone who is for need of such item. If your answer is no, so next year spend a bit of more time and give bigger share of yourself to the people who are close to you.
 
The budget

What if I receive way expensive present compared what I can give in exchange?
You should ask yourself the following Christmas firefighting questions:
Did I initiate a conversation with my relatives and friends about what I think is a reasonable amount to spend on a gift? If my answer is yes, then you just let it go the bad feeling and be happy what you get. If you can’t let it go the feeling plan a recapture meeting later on where you highlight your feelings and you kindly ask to respect it in the future. If your answer is no: than put on your to do list for next year.
If you have budget issues and you don’t know how to deal with your own kids wishes, here I would like to share with you one Hungarian psychologists opinion whom I value a lot Dr. Vekerdy Tamás said: ‘children’s are much easier to cope with financial deprivation than there is no love at home.” And what the season holidays are about, if not the time spent together in love.
 
Time to spend together but where?
If you are a couple then most likely you have to decide where are you going to celebrate. If you are not happy with the current situation your Christmas firefighting question can be: Do we take fair turns? Have we taken into account all parties' needs? If you’re not feeling well with the way you’re going to celebrate this year, the answer is clearly no. So what is the solution? Number one: Accept that this year it is going to happen as it is and make your plans for next year well in advance, to come up with something that is acceptable to everyone. Number two: Think about whether the date of celebration really matters for you? If not, name any day of the year that is your celebration day with your nuclear family.
 
Time to spend together with whom?
You may need to spend the evening together for a party that you don’t want so much. Christmas firefighting question can be:  Do they really have to be with you at Christmas? You can change this next year. But in the meantime, before your thread breaks, you can do the following: take a quick walk for some headspace or take a step back to understand better what the other is feeling and work towards a resolution. Don’t allow yourself to be made to feel unwelcome, insecure or criticised. If you do, it’s time to leave, if the person is in your home, you have the right to finish the party.
 
Intense time with partner
The couple are spending more time in each others’ company during the stress of the holiday preparations. Christmas firefighting question can be: Did we make our priority list on what is the most important for both of us? Do you take the time to understand why some points are important to your partner? If not, then it’s still not late to make it or it’s time to objectively shorten the list. Remember, you don’t and shouldn’t have to take on everything alone. Ask for help for certain tasks.
 
Intense time with kids
Is everyone at home and it’s too noisy and you cannot have rest or do what you wish for? Christmas firefighting question can be: What it would be like to be alone every year at Christmas? Otherwise have plan for potential meltdowns from children.
 
Although I mention it as a last point but in terms of importance this is the first.
Take stock of your feelings and share with your environment how you feel on the day of the gathering. We are not robots that can be programmed to have fun on a given day. If our environment knows how we feel and why, they can better support and accept us.

The perfection of Christmas depends on us what we want to make out of it! We rush after some imagined perfection or we just want to enjoy the moment in the best way how we can. In case of any tension think about your Christmas firefighting questions!
Wishing You peaceful season holidays!