Drop by drop our Serbia compatible family version

How did we build our Serbia compatible family version drop by drop? After a few moves, we developed our own relocation routine, including a priority list - which is constantly changing as our child grows. Of course, at the top of the list are all the things what we are not willing to give up.

Our first task on our to do list after having decided to accept a job offer in some other country is to visit the city that might become our temporary home. We prefer to discover the city with a local tour guide, the trip includes the visiting of some schools, learning about the local real estate market, finding out more information about public safety, health care, and taking a look at the selection of shops. In the meantime, we pay attention to our inner voice, but at least to our feelings. On the last night of the visit over a pleasant dinner, we usually share our impressions and make a conclusion.

In the case of Belgrade, this was as follows. We didn't have high expectations when we set off, especially since we chose a cold February weekend for our discovery trip. In me, the decisions was made pretty early, incidentally, when Kende asked the tour guide to stop for a while because he wanted to see the playground. When I saw him going there just to stroke the swing, I understood that from a family point of view, this is what we need now. We learned from the tour guide that public safety is very good in Serbia, health care is similar to Hungarian one, every smaller district has its own fresh market and smaller shops: dairy, butcher, vegetable, just like at home in the good old days. There are plenty of parks and bike paths in the city.

Since Hungarian and Serbian history are often intertwined, there is no such huge difference in terms of culture. Perhaps I would highlight two points: one is the distance of power and the other is the degree of individualism. Power distancing, that is respect for position, was not foreign to me because I experienced it as a child. In administration, you do what they say, you don't ask questions unnecessarily, you don't give advices how it could be better done, you behave respectfully, so then the necessary administration went smoothly. The fact that individualism is low in comparison to Hungary, only supported our integration, and it is also associated with a high degree of welcoming the foreigners (Josip Broz Tito's international activities were exemplary for society in terms of openness and creativity. I have to make another note here that he brilliantly combined the importance of sport, creativity and teamwork, the symbol of it in my eyes is the huge collection of batons).

Serbs always have a lot of fun with family and friends. They are very traditional. One of their greatest traditions is to celebrate Slava, when the extended family gathers in honour of the patron saint of the family, it can happen any day of the week - so it's a big mistake to schedule an important meeting or corporate event on the day of a popular patron saint, and shops can count with an outstanding revenue in those few days. There is the same big gathering together for grilling red peppers to make ajvar, which is also a popular pastime in the parks and gardens - that weekend pepper smoke sways around the settlements.

What was novel, what caused difficulty for us?

For example, Christmas is celebrated at a different time than we are used to, as we are talking mainly about an Orthodox Christian country in terms of religion.

Workplace flexibility accept the habits of others, which means you can stay home to celebrate. The locals mainly celebrate this period with street lighting, so there is no shortage of decoration either. Moreover, I love that everything is not decorated from October, but rather the streets are dressed in splendour towards the end of November, which for us is the beginning of the Advent period anyhow. How do we feel that all shops and restaurants are open when we are celebrating? This has never caused us a breakdown.

In my work and life experience so far, I have found that one of the most crucial points in integrating into a foreign culture is the lack of knowledge of the local language. The situation in Belgrade is quite special - a significant part of the people speak English, so it is possible to exist happily and build relationships even without knowing the Serbian language. However, if you speak Serbian, you will benefit in several countries, sea holiday in Montenegro, Croatia or trip to Bosnia Hercegovina etc. - so learning a language is more of a motivation than a necessary evil. So this area was also barrier-free.

But in order not to be all that idyllic, we have a challenge in the field of restaurants, namely tobacco smoke. Yes, it was like that in Hungary as well, but I didn't like it as a child either, now that I've experienced what a smoke-free life means is even harder to tolerate it. It's something that's ingrained in the culture, so accept it or un away, there's something similar in every country. But there is a solution to everything and it is on a tray too: it is part of their lifestyle being outdoor, so eating also takes place outdoors, except in winter. In addition, shopping malls are non-smoking and there is a wide range of restaurants, but home delivery also works well.

Touching the smoke topic, we're not done with it yet. During the heating season you can cut the smoke on the streets, no one informed us about it in advance and we didn't even ask for it, you are always learning something new. (While writing this post, I looked at a map analysing air quality and the current situation is similar to that in Budapest, but there are times when Belgrade is among the world leaders in a bad sense). The main reason is that the energy is largely produced by burning coal. So we have a lot of beautiful balcony and houseplants that help to improve the air quality. In addition, we walk and bike a lot, reducing air pollution on our part.

COVID times brought an interesting realisation about myself. I lacked loneliness in Serbia, as I had conditioned myself during recent moves to have had lonely periods. It was these moments when I heard my desires, where I was heading, what my goal was. I didn't necessarily want to find this out at this price, but that's how it turned out. It came as a kind of solitude, encounter-free period. Then I went to a deeper level of loneliness for the reason that the last beloved members of our family's "veteran generation" passed away. In such cases, one inevitably reevaluates life and rethinks what one wants to leave behind, what one considers valuable in the life.

For me, it is spending quality time with my loved ones, laughing, feeling at home and doing most of my time things what I love to do. To accept that everything is always changing and to be curious about it, but at the same time to remain active leader of change.

During time of COVID the above thoughts were realised in our family by creating a home feeling. When you're in a renting process of your home, you try to move into an apartment which has a style as close as your one, taking into account your limits. Obviously, you rarely find the home of your dreams, and there is no room for a complete redesign. The objects, on the other hand, spice up the home, and we set out on the path of objects creation, involving local craftsmen. We have established contact with local craftsmen, we have connected with this country, with this stage of our lives by objects. Objects that have made our apartment a home, to where it is good to return.

Wherever you are, no matter how long, make yourself feel at home! We are at home in Belgrade!